Finding my Perfect Synagogue

During recent years, my spiritual development has grown exponentially. My training as a Reiki Master was an entrée to my connection. Exploration of Kabalistic Meditation further developed this relationship to Universal Life Energy, All That Is, G-d -- an energy that's greater than ourselves; however you choose to define it. This connection was so powerful; it was overwhelming and scary at times. I stopped meditating for a while, and had a strong feeling I needed to ‘go back to basics.' It took me a while to actually hear this message and interpret its meaning. I finally admitted to myself that I needed grounding in my roots, the Jewish faith, and in particular Jewish prayer.

I started a Morning Prayer practice -- purchased a siddur (Jewish prayer book) and started with a few of the basic prayers. (During my middle school years, I attended a Jewish day school where the morning prayers were a daily ritual, so I had an idea where to begin.) My new devotion to prayer drove my desire to attend weekly Saturday morning Sabbath services. I developed a new hobby, exploring area synagogues.

I needed a place to start. We had been members of a Reform synagogue for several years, but were never completely comfortable there. I was brought up in a traditional home and some of my day school years were spent in an Orthodox yeshiva. To me, ‘back to basics' meant exploring traditional congregations.

Each new congregation was an adventure and had its own little surprises. I saw subtle variations in liturgy and heard different melodies to familiar prayers while becoming reacquainted with the traditional Saturday morning service.

I rediscovered

• the order of the morning service,
• the complete Torah service including the recitation of the entire portion of the week and an entire Haftorah portion,
• Musaf, the late morning service that follows the weekly readings,
• lay leadership where knowledgeable congregants lead different parts of the service without the aide of a Cantor or Rabbi.

I didn't realize what I was missing and I liked what I saw and heard!

Visits so far consist of, but are not limited to congregations that are affiliated with specific denominations and some that don't ally themselves with a particular movement. I've gone to Conservative, Reconstructionist, Orthodox, Renewal, and a couple of Minyanim, (traditional egalitarian Sabbath services are completely lay led, there is no paid clergy, administration, or permanent building). My husband asks me every Saturday, ‘where are you going this week?'

When I left my old shul, my Rabbi warned me that "no place will be perfect." Then I read, Esther Kustanowitz Looks for her Perfect Shul which appeared in TheJewishWeek.com, where she talks about her search for a synagogue on the upper west side of Manhattan. I knew I wasn't alone.

I started with synagogues I'd heard about or passed on my way to work. The biggest obstacle was shoring up the courage to attend services in a new place on my own without a friend or my husband by my side. It's often difficult, but I walk into every new synagogue with the confidence that I could be comfortable anywhere due to my familiarity with the liturgy. In many congregations, page numbers aren't announced, in others, I was given a prayer book that was open to the correct page even though I arrived in the middle of the service. I also wasn't afraid to ask someone or glanced over shoulders to find the page number. Eventually, I got so familiar with the service, I didn't need a page number, but could find where they were in the service on my own.

I've learned a lot and discovered a whole other world. Most importantly, I'm learning what I want the Saturday morning Sabbath service to do for me.

1. To be resouled - a weekly grounding, where the worries of the previous week are no longer overwhelming. At least for a day, I can put those worries aside and usually face those concerns with a new perspective the next day.
2. Lay leadership is where it's at! I hear very spirited prayer recitation from lay leaders/readers. It's as if these impassioned leaders are channeling their ancestors.
3. Well researched interpretation(s) on the portion of the week usually called a d'var Torah - a word of Torah, or a drash - short for Midrash, instead of a sermon. Many synagogues in my geographic area have scholars, academics, or just very interested members in their environs who share their knowledge, expertise, and insights, and often relate the ancient texts to modern day living, their personal lives, or current events.
4. Community -- This is the intent of the Saturday Shabbat service. Praying in spirited community, with a quorum or people, helps me to resoul.

By attending weekly Sabbath services, I've received more honors than I can count, such as reciting blessings before part of the Torah is read or dressing the Torah. I've met lots of people, attended a free class where I learned how to chant sacred texts, and learned lots about the Jewish community and synagogues in the metropolitan area where I reside.

There are still new synagogues I wish to attend even though my search is more than a year old; it is by no means complete. There may never be an absolute decision for our new spiritual home. For the fall high holidays we joined a local old Conservative shul and welcomed the New Year. Whether we will be the same place next year, I'm not sure. Perhaps the answer for me isn't in one institution, but it may lie with more than one.

If you're searching for a synagogue to join in your area, the best place to start is by talking to people you know. If they're not Jewish, they may know someone who is. There is nothing like word of mouth recommendations. Many of the places I've visited were recommendations from people. If you don't know anyone or are too shy to ask, you can also search the web by putting the name of your city and synagogues into a search engine.

Revisit synagogues. Search their websites and find out if anything has changed. They may be different during the summer or during a life cycle event like a bar/bat mitzvah then they are other times of the year.